Sunday, November 30, 2008

11/30/08 - Relationships

I've been meaning to post again for a few days now but haven't had a chance due to several factors (including laziness and procrastination =P).

My last post was a little harsh. There are days like that at my house, but they aren't really all that common and I'm starting to realize that a good percentage of the time it's at least partially my own fault.

I need to show more respect to my dad.

Sometimes, he's a jerk. Usually, he's a control freak. Most of the time, he tries to make it known that he's the head of the household and therefore what he says goes.

At the same time, he is my dad, and he is trying to do his best to be a good father to me and to do what is best for me. After all, he is letting me do indoor track after much debate and discussion. He's not a tyrant, he'll let me do things if I explain and actually talk to him about why I want to do them.

Additionally, he hasn't been the greatest in terms of health lately. He probably feels like garbage all the time. Me giving him a hard time doesn't help matters any.

Bottom line: No matter how much I want him to be, he is not perfect or the best father in the world or any of that. He's my dad; nothing more, nothing less. I need to accept him for who he is.

So I'm going to try to be nicer. I'll try not to talk back as much and to have less of an attitude. I'll let him think he can boss me around and be the big man on campus.

Maybe then things around here won't be so bad. I do have to tolerate this place for at least another four to five years after all.

On a similar note, my sister needs a break. Friends on the outside looking in half-joke about how mean we (my dad, brother, and I) are to her, and they're right. We treat her horribly, and it's not healthy. It's not healthy for her to be bullied - and that's what it is, bullying - around all the time nonstop. She's going to end up with some kind of mental disorder or at least be antisocial (which she already is to an extent) or something.

I worry about her, but that's hypocritical. I'm part of the problem.

The effects are obvious to me already. I've been trying to be nicer to her for a little while already, and she's so defensive. I have to work at being able to have a normal conversation with her, because she just thinks I'm going to start teasing her or something. There's no trust, and that really makes me feel bad.

I feel bad about both situations, with my dad and with my sister. I've wanted for a long time to have better relationships with both of them, and only now do I realize that it's my own fault that I don't.

Don't read that last statement as me getting down on myself, because I'm not. I'm just stating a fact. If I would treat them better, maybe they'll learn to start treating me better too. They aren't just going to do it out of the blue for no reason. I have to initiate it.

So those of you who get on my case and/or pick on me about my dad or my sister and how I treat them, lay off for a while, please. It's a personal subject for me, and I really am trying.

Thanks.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment



 
free website hit counters
Get a free hit counter here.